Dear Diary

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend full of sunshine and love.

Mine sucked.

I went shopping. And saw myself in fantastic lighting. In a three way mirror. And now I will kill myself.

Some thoughts from my time at the mall:

• I hate people.
• I really hate girls.
• I hate myself.
• Where did this ball of flab on the side of my thigh come from?
  
• I am not good at color blocking.
• Turning your medium sized cotton underwear from Target into thongs so you don't have an underwear line is not comfortable.
• I hope everyone at this mall dies. Today.
• Why do I have backne at 28?
  
• Teenagers are SO stupid.
• Girls are SO stupid.
• I wish my rings weren't getting cleaned so I can wear those and people will know that, despite how pathetic I may look, I actually found a guy to marry me. (My husband hates me and finds me incredibly unamusing, but that's besides the point.)
• Wow, my legs are pale.
  
• Wow, my legs are hairy.
• Wow, my legs are dry.
  
• Wow, I have no calves.
• Wow, my face is greasy.
• This dinnerware set from Anthropologie is exactly what I've been looking for. (I'll share later!)

And then thankfully, dinner with Tess came along and washed the suck away!